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CD1 of FET #1

Well, it's day 8 of Lupron for our first FET cycle.  The last few days have been uneventful cycle-wise.  Until today.  Today is CD1 and it has been a shocker.  This is the first CD1 I've had without excruciating pain radiating through my body, to my finger tips and the ends of my toes since I was probably a sophomore in high school.  That would be about 17 or 18 years ago.  This is the first CD1 I've had since high school where I haven't needed to take several OTC pills (or even prescription pain pills) to try to get a handle on the pain.  I actually haven't needed to take ANY pain pills at all today!  Woo hoo!

I almost don't know what to do with myself.  CD1 and no pain pills does not add up; it's like my whole world has been thrown off balance.  No heating pad, no laying on the couch for hours drifting in and out of sleep waiting for the pain to pass, no whining to my hubby or my sisters (or anyone else for that matter), no Ben & Jerry's chocolate ice cream (although I don't see any reason why I should have to skip that last part).  I wasn't even this pain free after my surgery for endometriosis.  Huh, this must be what a normal woman experiences on the first day of her period.  Interesting. I could get used to this.

All my life (well, not literally, although it feels that way), I've had the type of pain with my period that has caused me to change how I live my life.  I've gotten used to scheduling vacations around my cycle (or just staying home if plans can't be changed), planning outings that include easy access to restrooms, and packing an unusually large number of pads to take with me any time I'm away from home (because there is no way I can use tampons with the amount of pain I'm in).  I've probably made a ton of other changes to accommodate my cycle but I've been doing them so long they are just a part of my life now and I don't even notice the changes anymore.

Occasionally, when I've told a friend or family member that I can't participate in this or that because of my cramps, I have gotten the "are you serious" or "yeah right" or "I don't believe you" look.  No one has ever actually said any of that to me (well, maybe once) but I can see it all over their faces.  (And if you are my friend / family in real life and you are reading this, no, this is not directed at you.  I have not shared this blog with anyone IRL who has given me these looks.  Unless you have given me these looks and I didn't realize it.  Then yes, this is directed at you...J/K.)  I always feel really awful when I have to tell someone I can't do this or that because of my cramps.  I feel like it's a lame excuse and I hate that I have to say it at all.  I just want my body to be normal!

So now I'm wondering what has caused the lack of pain this month, and will it happen again during my next period (which hopefully won't be for at least 9 - 10 months).  Without consulting Dr. Google, my best guess is the daily shot of Lupron, which is supposed to prevent ovulation this month, has toned down my jazzy uterus.  Hmm...how can I get my hands on some Lupron after all this crazy TTC stuff is done?  ;)

Ha ha!  Done with TTC?  Is that even possible?  It seems I will be on this road forever.  Like my own personal purgatory here on earth.

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