DH and I had our FET consultation on Wednesday, September 16 at 9:00 am with the same doc we used the first time around when we had our twins. I just love him. I remember being hesitant to see a male doctor when we first started treatments in 2012, but he came highly recommended by a close friend who also saw him, so I went for it. And I haven't looked back since. Actually, I saw the only female RE in the office once (because my doc wasn't available) after having my pregnancy confirmed three years ago and that was enough for me. I didn't care for her methods. Or maybe it was her personality and / or bedside manner? Probably all of the above.
Anyway, since I was in my second 30-day layoff notice period at work (the first 30 days was my "working" period and the second 30 days was "non-working"), I didn't need to worry about requesting time off for our appointment. My hubby, on the other hand, was swamped and had an internal interview immediately following our consultation so he was a little stressed. And probably not as focused on our meeting as he should have been.
Nevertheless, the appointment went about as smoothly as it could with getting our questions answered. Our biggest concerns were regarding our odds of conceiving if we were to move forward with another FET and the associated costs. I wasn't sure how the scar on my uterus from my C-section would affect things, or my recent surgery to remove polyps and fibroids, or my age (I'll be 37 next month. ugh.), or the length of time our embryos have been frozen...but Dr. C assured us our odds today are as good as our odds were three years ago. That was music to my ears but my hubby still wasn't convinced we should move forward, citing his age and the affordability of having another child and blah blah blah. The same tired reasons he gives every time, to which I give the same rote answers: basically, he shouldn't let society dictate at what age he is allowed to become a father again and that we have backup resources available for money shortages (savings, 401(k), my dad).
The cost of the FET itself seems to be a non-issue this time. The clinic requires a $2,800 fee be paid up front - I mean $2,800 is nothing compared to the $30,000 from last time! - then there are the costs of medications and doctor appointments. The doctor appointments and monitoring would most likely be covered 100% by insurance because we reached our out of pocket deductible back in May, I think it was. My health insurance plan also includes the cost of medication so most normal medications are covered at 100% right now too...it's just a matter of which FET medications are covered by insurance and which aren't. So I'm hopeful at least some of the FET medications will be covered...and I'm hopeful we can get through our next FET before the end of the year.
I feel like we're in a pretty good place to move forward with trying for a baby again job-wise, insurance-wise, and house-wise. After MANY months of serious searching (and years of dream-searching), we finally selected a lot about two weeks ago on which to build a new house! I am so excited for this new adventure but the only piece that feels a bit uncertain is how much our new house payments will be. I know it will be tight whether we have two kids or three so there is a bit of uneasiness on both our parts there, but I just can't - I won't - let that interfere with my dreams of expanding our family. This is our last shot. I know next year isn't an option because, if I'm being totally honest, even I think it would be crazy for my hubby to become a dad at age 49. But who knows, if it hasn't happened by then, maybe I'll change my own viewpoint on the topic. I probably sound like a hypocrite here, and I consider myself a pretty (wide) open-minded person, but even I have my limitations.
At the end of our appointment, Dr. C asked us if we were ready to move forward or if we needed some time to think about it. I was ready but I knew my husband needed some time, so instead of pressuring him into it in front of our doctor, we both agreed to take some time to think about it. Dr. C said to give him a call when we were ready to move forward, and if he didn't hear from us he would know it was a no-go. He said he was booking all the way into November already (insert my heart breaking here) because I would need to go on BC for a month before beginning the FET medication to prepare for our transfer month. I was prepared for this news because of past experience but it still hurt.
CD1 started October 6; I texted DH in the morning what day it was and that I needed to call the clinic if I was to start BC for an FET next month. He didn't look at his phone all day (yes, he was being honest about this and wasn't avoiding me...after all, he didn't know it was CD1), and the clinic closed at 4 pm, so I went ahead and left a message for the nurse line at 3:30 pm. After a bit of phone tag, the nurse finally got a hold of me the next day. I explained in my message the previous day I was concerned I had fibroids and polyps again because I experienced spotting during this past cycle so I wasn't sure if I should start BC pills or what the protocol was. She said regardless if I have polyps / fibroids again, she needed to get orders from Dr. C before moving forward either way. I reluctantly hung up the phone without a plan and filled in DH after we were both home from work. I said I wanted to find out if the polyps / fibroids were back and figure out what to do about it whether we did another FET or not, which was true, but I'm also hoping that by exploring this path, it will lead us to an FET. DH didn't object but he didn't concede to move forward either. This man is so frustrating sometimes with his lack of decision making and how long he takes to think about things! Sometimes it forces me to make decisions for us before he is ready, and then I have to later go back and tell him what has happened and smooth things over, because we've simply run out of time.
I haven't heard back from Dr. C's office about our orders - it will be one week on Wednesday that we last spoke - so I'm probably just going to have to call the office again myself. This is very unusual for my clinic; they're normally very on top of things. And it's already the middle of October and I still don't have a confirmed "ok" from DH to start the cycle - hopefully - next month. We are REALLY pushing it to get in before the end of the year, and if we can't get in until January, I have a feeling DH will never say yes (because it's more money out of our pocket). This might be one of those situations where I'm forced to make the decision for us. I both love and loathe it (mostly loathe).
Anyway, since I was in my second 30-day layoff notice period at work (the first 30 days was my "working" period and the second 30 days was "non-working"), I didn't need to worry about requesting time off for our appointment. My hubby, on the other hand, was swamped and had an internal interview immediately following our consultation so he was a little stressed. And probably not as focused on our meeting as he should have been.
Nevertheless, the appointment went about as smoothly as it could with getting our questions answered. Our biggest concerns were regarding our odds of conceiving if we were to move forward with another FET and the associated costs. I wasn't sure how the scar on my uterus from my C-section would affect things, or my recent surgery to remove polyps and fibroids, or my age (I'll be 37 next month. ugh.), or the length of time our embryos have been frozen...but Dr. C assured us our odds today are as good as our odds were three years ago. That was music to my ears but my hubby still wasn't convinced we should move forward, citing his age and the affordability of having another child and blah blah blah. The same tired reasons he gives every time, to which I give the same rote answers: basically, he shouldn't let society dictate at what age he is allowed to become a father again and that we have backup resources available for money shortages (savings, 401(k), my dad).
The cost of the FET itself seems to be a non-issue this time. The clinic requires a $2,800 fee be paid up front - I mean $2,800 is nothing compared to the $30,000 from last time! - then there are the costs of medications and doctor appointments. The doctor appointments and monitoring would most likely be covered 100% by insurance because we reached our out of pocket deductible back in May, I think it was. My health insurance plan also includes the cost of medication so most normal medications are covered at 100% right now too...it's just a matter of which FET medications are covered by insurance and which aren't. So I'm hopeful at least some of the FET medications will be covered...and I'm hopeful we can get through our next FET before the end of the year.
I feel like we're in a pretty good place to move forward with trying for a baby again job-wise, insurance-wise, and house-wise. After MANY months of serious searching (and years of dream-searching), we finally selected a lot about two weeks ago on which to build a new house! I am so excited for this new adventure but the only piece that feels a bit uncertain is how much our new house payments will be. I know it will be tight whether we have two kids or three so there is a bit of uneasiness on both our parts there, but I just can't - I won't - let that interfere with my dreams of expanding our family. This is our last shot. I know next year isn't an option because, if I'm being totally honest, even I think it would be crazy for my hubby to become a dad at age 49. But who knows, if it hasn't happened by then, maybe I'll change my own viewpoint on the topic. I probably sound like a hypocrite here, and I consider myself a pretty (wide) open-minded person, but even I have my limitations.
At the end of our appointment, Dr. C asked us if we were ready to move forward or if we needed some time to think about it. I was ready but I knew my husband needed some time, so instead of pressuring him into it in front of our doctor, we both agreed to take some time to think about it. Dr. C said to give him a call when we were ready to move forward, and if he didn't hear from us he would know it was a no-go. He said he was booking all the way into November already (insert my heart breaking here) because I would need to go on BC for a month before beginning the FET medication to prepare for our transfer month. I was prepared for this news because of past experience but it still hurt.
CD1 started October 6; I texted DH in the morning what day it was and that I needed to call the clinic if I was to start BC for an FET next month. He didn't look at his phone all day (yes, he was being honest about this and wasn't avoiding me...after all, he didn't know it was CD1), and the clinic closed at 4 pm, so I went ahead and left a message for the nurse line at 3:30 pm. After a bit of phone tag, the nurse finally got a hold of me the next day. I explained in my message the previous day I was concerned I had fibroids and polyps again because I experienced spotting during this past cycle so I wasn't sure if I should start BC pills or what the protocol was. She said regardless if I have polyps / fibroids again, she needed to get orders from Dr. C before moving forward either way. I reluctantly hung up the phone without a plan and filled in DH after we were both home from work. I said I wanted to find out if the polyps / fibroids were back and figure out what to do about it whether we did another FET or not, which was true, but I'm also hoping that by exploring this path, it will lead us to an FET. DH didn't object but he didn't concede to move forward either. This man is so frustrating sometimes with his lack of decision making and how long he takes to think about things! Sometimes it forces me to make decisions for us before he is ready, and then I have to later go back and tell him what has happened and smooth things over, because we've simply run out of time.
I haven't heard back from Dr. C's office about our orders - it will be one week on Wednesday that we last spoke - so I'm probably just going to have to call the office again myself. This is very unusual for my clinic; they're normally very on top of things. And it's already the middle of October and I still don't have a confirmed "ok" from DH to start the cycle - hopefully - next month. We are REALLY pushing it to get in before the end of the year, and if we can't get in until January, I have a feeling DH will never say yes (because it's more money out of our pocket). This might be one of those situations where I'm forced to make the decision for us. I both love and loathe it (mostly loathe).